Looking back

This past weekend, Aaron hung out with my parents at their house. I am so thankful to have wonderful parents that not only love to have Aaron for a few days here and there but also that Aaron loves as much as he does.

On Thursday, my boyfriend and I met my mom half way to exchange Aaron. There are no words for his facial expression he gets when he knows he is going to grandma’s house. Truth be told, there are no words for the smile I see on my mom’s face either. They are buddies. They have a bond.

Thursday night until Sunday midafternoon my boyfriend and I were child free. It was time to get wild and crazy. Truth be told, our “free time” went a little something like this.

Friday night we went out with 2 couples to a comedy club and to a rooftop bar for a few drinks after. For some this is a normal weekend night. For me, this kind of normal is so far beyond when I can remember or what I thought I would ever have again. It was nice. We did not have to worry about getting home to a babysitter. We were free. Free to be home around 11:00PM. We stayed out super late as you can tell. 😉

So Saturday we went to the farmers market and had lunch, again without any side worries of having Aaron with or getting home for a babysitter. This freedom is one I am not used too. I appreciate it more than most.

After lunch I kind of tricked my boyfriend into helping sort and organize Aaron’s toys. He wasn’t sure of the idea before we started. In my defense, after we were done with the process he told me it was an excellent idea. We not only got to spend some more quality time together but I got to tackle a stressor of mine with my best friend by my side. We ended in the basement. By the time we were there we were both feeling exhausted. At one point, I grabbed my boyfriend into a hug and tears left my eyes.

Why? Because I never imagined I would ever have someone to help me with these things. You may say, “Alyssa, it is toys?!” And my response is simple. Not many people can watch me tear up after a toy that looks innocent and WAY past what Aaron would play with and then listen to me as I explain that it is a toy Aaron’s daddy got him and watch me grieve a little more. It takes someone special. And that in itself makes me tear up because I have found that someone special.

As we finished with the basement there was a sense of accomplishment and as I sat in my couch, I looked at a wall that used to be all storage. It now has a tv along it with a great sound system. I looked up at the ceiling that used to be open and was now dry walled.

My boyfriend let me sit in the basement for a little bit as I had a “moment.” I looked around and felt overwhelmed at everything I have done in the last 3 ½ years.

I reflect on these things.  I look back knowing it took a lot to get me where I am today.

I find myself thankful for Jay. I find myself grateful for Aaron. I find myself blessed to have my boyfriend. I find myself thankful for my family.  I find myself overwhelmed by the awesome friends I have.

I look back and find myself in awe of the people in my life; past, present and future.