Are we related?

The story behind my last name

The other day I had someone come up to me and ask if we were related somehow.

My last name is hyphenated.  Taber-Steuhm.  People often make the assumption that Taber is my maiden name.  It is not.  It is my first husband’s last name.

This person had made that assumption and was shocked to hear me talk to open about the fact that “Taber” was not my maiden name, instead my first husband’s who had passed away at the age of 33.

I will probably never know for sure if infant this person is related to my late husband or not but I gave him enough information to dig and find out. HA!

When people first saw me hyphenate my last name there were alot of questions.

Question: Why hyphenate Alyssa?…that seems like alot of work.

Answer: Same amount of work it is to change your name any other time.

Question: What does Kelby think of it, keeping Jay’s last name with his?

Answer: When I made the decision, which was made alot sooner than many would think, it wasn’t to hurt Kelby or to honor Jay.  I believe Kelby knows this.

Question: Why did you hyphenate your name Alyssa?

Answer: The answer is quite simple.  Aaron.  I never want Aaron to question where his place is in my life.  I never want Kelby to question my love for him either.  But I kept “Taber” for Aaron.

After making this decision I was sitting with my boss at the time and my decision was solidified in our discussion.  She had lost her father at an early age and her mom remarried and took her second husband’s last name.  She would tell me that this decision often made people question who she belonged too.  Her words not mine.

In that moment I knew despite the headache it may cause me, my decision was right for us as a family.  Also…if you say it fast and run the words together…it totally sounds German.  And that is kinda cool.

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