The other day someone asked me about Aaron and Kelby’s relationship. It was out of the blue but it was an interesting question.
I was asked how I will handle when Aaron realizes Kelby is technically his step dad and now his biological dad. The question was more of how will I handle when Aaron goes through the phase of “You are not my real dad” in reference to parenting and those things we have to tell our children for their safety, etc.
It is an interesting question and after some thought, here is my answer.
I did not tell Aaron Kelby was his daddy. Aaron decided Kelby was his dad.
It was our 2nd Christmas together. We had celebrated our Christmas with my side of the family in beautiful Breckenridge, Colorado. After skiing over Christmas, all still on one piece, Aaron, Kelby and I were at the Denver airport waiting to check in for our flight back home. I will never forget it. We were sitting having a hot beverage and out of the blue Aaron looks at Kelby, points his finger at him, giggles and says “Daddy!” As long as Denver doesn’t do major renovations I could take you to the exact place in the airport where this happened because it is THAT ingrained in my memory.
Kelby was talking about something and missed it the first time. So I nudge Kelby…probably a little hard if I am honest and said “Did. You. Here. That?” Kelby looked at me like “what? What did I miss?” I then asked Aaron to repeat what he had just said. And he repeated, not really understanding why I wanted him to repeat it but at this stage in his life he was all about repeating things…ALL the time. He has been calling him daddy every day since.
When asked this question the other day, how I would handle it if/when Aaron decides to question Kelby as his dad my response is this, “I brought Kelby into our lives Aaron, but YOU are the one who decided he was your daddy. YOU first called him daddy. And with that you will respect him just as you respect me.”
It could be more complicated, or it can be that simple. Simple is good.