I haven’t blogged in almost 3 months. It has been a very busy 3 months and that means I have a lot to blog but I will be honest and share my struggle of why it has taken so long. Well first I was going through angelversaries and on top of that planning a wedding and a reception. But those things aside, I could not decide on a title for the blog.
When I blog, I first need a title. It is just part of my process. It is probably the one single thing holding me back from writing my book. Because I do not have the title in my mind. Realistically I know if I were to publish a book, an editor may want to change it, so I eventually need to get over it. 🙂
So now I have a title, let’s get blogging.
On May 28,2016, I did something amazing. I got married. We went to Naples, Florida. It was a beautiful weekend for a destination wedding. A few weeks later we had our reception back in Iowa surrounded by many friends and family.
I want to focus this blog on the song Kelby and I danced to for our first dance. It happens to be the song my dad, Aaron and I walked “down the aisle” to in Naples as well. The title of the song is the title of this blog. “I get to love you.”
I first heard the song from the show “Dancing with the Stars.” It was a BEAUTIFUL dance and although I watched the dance, I couldn’t help but listen to the lyrics.
Kelby and I had been trying to decide on a first song for some time. Every song we picked was specific to one gender being in love with the other. There aren’t many songs where a man loves woman and woman loves man. But “I get to love you” speaks so loudly without saying much at all. The first lyrics of the song are:
one look at you,
my whole life falls in line.
i prayed for you
before i called you mine.
Ruelle, the artist who sings the song, could sing these 4 lines and I would be perfectly content. I heard these words and each one grabbed my attention more and more until it hit me. This was the perfect song.
The reality is this.
I don’t have to love him. He does not have to love me.
I don’t want to love him. He does not want to love me.
We get to love each other.
When I woke up the day after Jay died, I prayed for one thing. A peaceful heart. Through lots of hard work I kept getting closer. Deep down, I knew there was an important part missing. The moment Kelby walked into the restaurant for our first date, I felt at peace. I laughed in a way I had not done in a VERY long time. I smiled the whole time. It is almost as if Aaron already knew him before they met. Our life literally fell into place. I prayed for peace in my life, and my prayer was answer. He walked into our lives and we are forever grateful.
As I started to walk down the aisle with my dad on side and Aaron on the other, I heard the lyrics. I looked up and saw Kelby at the alter. I smile as I type this because in that moment I remember saying to myself, I am so incredibly bless that I get to love you. As we danced our “first dance”, he held me close and a peaceful heart solidified into a peaceful life. I am so grateful my prayer was answered. I am so incredibly blessed, because I get to love him.