I get to love you

I haven’t blogged in almost 3 months.  It has been a very busy 3 months and that means I have a lot to blog but I will be honest and share my struggle of why it has taken so long.  Well first I was going through angelversaries and on top of that planning a wedding and a reception.  But those things aside, I could not decide on a title for the blog.

When I blog, I first need a title.  It is just part of my process.  It is probably the one single thing holding me back from writing my book.  Because I do not have the title in my mind.  Realistically I know if I were to publish a book, an editor may want to change it, so I eventually need to get over it. 🙂

So now I have a title, let’s get blogging.

On May 28,2016, I did something amazing.  I got married.  We went to Naples, Florida.  It was a beautiful weekend for a destination wedding.  A few weeks later we had our reception back in Iowa surrounded by many friends and family.

I want to focus this blog on the song Kelby and I danced to for our first dance.  It happens to be the song my dad, Aaron and I walked “down the aisle” to in Naples as well.  The title of the song is the title of this blog.  “I get to love you.”

I first heard the song from the show “Dancing with the Stars.”  It was a BEAUTIFUL dance and although I watched the dance, I couldn’t help but listen to the lyrics.

Kelby and I had been trying to decide on a first song for some time.  Every song we picked was specific to one gender being in love with the other.  There aren’t many songs where a man loves woman and woman loves man.  But “I get to love you” speaks so loudly without saying much at all.  The first lyrics of the song are:

one look at you,
my whole life falls in line.
i prayed for you
before i called you mine.

Ruelle, the artist who sings the song, could sing these 4 lines and I would be perfectly content.  I heard these words and each one grabbed my attention more and more until it hit me.  This was the perfect song.

The reality is this.

I don’t have to love him.  He does not have to love me.

I don’t want to love him.  He does not want to love me.

We get to love each other.

When I woke up the day after Jay died, I prayed for one thing.  A peaceful heart.  Through lots of hard work I kept getting closer.  Deep down, I knew there was an important part missing.  The moment Kelby walked into the restaurant for our first date, I felt at peace.  I laughed in a way I had not done in a VERY long time.  I smiled the whole time.  It is almost as if Aaron already knew him before they met.  Our life literally fell into place.  I prayed for peace in my life, and my prayer was answer.  He walked into our lives and we are forever grateful.

As I started to walk down the aisle with my dad on side and Aaron on the other, I heard the lyrics.  I looked up and saw Kelby at the alter.  I smile as I type this because in that moment I remember saying to myself, I am so incredibly bless that I get to love you.  As we danced our “first dance”, he held me close and a peaceful heart solidified into a peaceful life.  I am so grateful my prayer was answered.  I am so incredibly blessed, because I get to love him.

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