When I drive, I do my best thinking. I concentrate on the road and I think. Today I was driving somewhere and I started to think about how I have parented Aaron up to this point. Adding Kelby permanently to our life added another person to help with guidance and parenting. I am fortunate that Kelby and I are often on the same page when it comes to parenting.
Aaron is completing his Kindergarten year in the next month. It has felt for the last few weeks he is growing and changing rapidly. I say that in a very good way but in this comes a time where we as parents have to grow and change as well. Hence my driving and thinking this morning.
I’m not sure if everyone has this but I kind of feel like my Kindergartener soon turned 1st grader is acting like a teenager. Maybe that is just me and maybe that is just karma from when I was a kid but it is how I feel. And I have always felt a huge responsibility in raising a healthy, kind and grateful human being but I didn’t realize in this day and age how difficult and ever changing it would be.
I find myself thinking about how my parents raised me and my brother and what the parental strategies parents used were then and not only are some of them outdated but some you can get in serious trouble for now a days. So in my mind I think, “I can’t be too hard on my child.” But then I look at some more current generations and the parental strategies many used and I think some of those have been described as not strict enough. So then I think, “Don’t let him walk over you, set rules.”
Honestly once I got through all of that, my head hurt. And then I decided we need to navigate the middle. But where is the middle? Not a black and white answer…that is gray. Some liked the 50 shades of Gray movies, and today the gray tank top I have on is super cute but gray in the realm of parenting just scares me.
I look at the different strategies and then I dive deeper realizing every kid in the world has a different home dynamic. When I added that to my equation I started to build excuses and the second that started I stopped. I don’t believe in excuses, reasons yes but excuses no.
So back to thinking about parenting Aaron. What do we keep, what do we put aside for future use and what do we get rid of? As a life coach I think about asking him the questions I would a client and knowing the answers are all within him, I just have to get them out of him. But at the age of 6 is that realistic? Probably not.
I know parenting can be done. I have been blessed with parents who somehow helped me grow into the person I am today and have watched many friends of mine parent their children into not only full functioning human beings but loving, caring and remarkable human beings. It can be done. But for right now I am sticking with although not impossible…parenting is difficult.