tonight

Tonight I received some sad news about Jay’s dad and his fight with cancer.  There is not much time left.  Jay’s mom called me to tell me.  How do you respond to hearing that news?  How do you make that news OK?  How do I make sense of it in my head?  How do I explain it to Aaron?

All of those questions ran through my mind.  None of them have answers.   They all make my heart heavy.  They make my heart hurt in such a unique and challenging way.

Tonight I have cried in a way I have not done in some time.  Tonight I feel guilt.  Tonight I feel regret.  Tonight I am angry.  Tonight I am scared.  Tonight I question life.  Tonight I question death.  Tonight I hug Aaron harder.  Tonight I tell my family and friends I love them.  Tonight I remind everyone in my life how much they mean to me.

I start another part of our journey tonight.

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